Live With Confidence

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord.  He will be like a bush in the wastelands;  he will not see prosperity when it comes.  He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives.  But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.  He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.  It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.  It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

Jeremiah 17:5-8

I opened my bible to this passage yesterday.  It spoke volumes to me.

Trust in the Lord.  Not man.  It was as if God was speaking directly to me, “Alissa, trust in Me, not in people.  Then you will have confidence.  Not fear and worry.”

Who doesn’t want confidence?  I certainly do.  Honestly, I live a life reigned with fear and worry.   There are so many things I would have loved to have done or do currently, but fear keeps me from moving.  Fear paralyzes.  I have had this dream of becoming a writer and speaker for so long, and yet the only thing that has prevented me from pursuing it, has been fear.  And you may think of fear as “scary movie” type fear.  But fear that is even more disabling is the fear of failure, fear of losing control, fear of losing something, fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough.  These fears are real and I experience them often–sometimes without even realizing it.   So, am I destined to live with this fear?  Will I always struggle and never fulfill the plans God has for me because I am afraid of taking a risk?

And life with God is a risk.  It’s called faith.  There is no guarantee of personal success, or happiness, or safety, or a life without sadness.  Life with God is about trusting.  Believing that He is God, that He is who He said he is!

Yes, Lord this is what I desire!  

But… how am I trusting in “man”, other people, myself, my husband?  How am I NOT trusting in you?

This question plagued me.  I love the Lord.  I placed my faith in Him 12 years ago.  I DO trust in Him, don’t I?  It was like God spoke to me, “Then why do you fear?  Why do you worry?”

Well, I long to be transformed by His word.  I know He is calling me to live differently, to follow Him, to pursue him with passion, to live a radically obedient life! I do want this!  I desire this in my heart, in my spirit!  But in the body, my flesh is weak.  But, I must remember that in my weakness, God is strong!  He is strong enough, big enough, good enough, powerful enough, loving enough.  He is ENOUGH! He alone can break this stronghold of fear in my life!

Jeremiah 17: 7 says our confidence is in the Lord, trust in Him!  There is no fear.  There is no worry.  Get that?  None of it.

So, I ask myself, what is confidence?  It means having certainty, freedom from doubt, a feeling of trust, confident hopefulness.

Then, what is fear?  To be afraid, feeling worry or concern or insecurity, uneasy, apprehensive about a possible situation or event.

Which one do YOU want?  Confidence or fear? You cannot have both. We are either confident or fearful.  They are in opposition to one another.  If I am confident, I am not lacking security, uneasy or apprehensive.  If I am fearful, I am not free from doubt, trusting and certain.

Wow.  I either trust God and have confidence in Him.  Or I live in fear.  They cannot exist simultaneously.  Now, do I struggle with fear in the midst of my faith in Christ?  Absolutely.  Following Jesus doesn’t mean I will always have confidence and never fear.  It means that when I begin to fear, I must remind myself to realign my heart to trust in Him once again.  To believe He is who He says He is and believe He will do what He says He will do.  And then, with courage, listen to what He is telling me to do and obey.  Its about obedience!  Life isn’t about growing in our faith so we feel good.  He calls us to move!  To go!  To get up and do something!  We were never meant to be stagnant.  We were never meant to be comfortable.  I look around me right now as I sit here writing this and I am comfortable.  I live in America.  I have a beautiful home, an abundance of things.  We are safe and my kids are playing outside in 70 degree weather.  I am healthy, and well fed.  I am comfortable.  So are you.  But Jesus never called us to be comfortable.  He says in Matt 28:19,

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Did you read the same verse I just read?  There are some verbs in there: go, baptize, teach, obey.  These are not words of a stagnant, comfortable person.  But us women are really good at reading His word, listening to a great sermon or a great speaker at a women’s event and thinking, “Boy that is awesome!  I’m pumped up!  That was inspiring.” and then never do anything with it.

James 1:22 says, “Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves, do what it says.”

I don’t want to just be inspiring.  I want women to respond to the Holy Spirit’s calling on their lives and get up and start going after God!  I want women to have a passion for what God’s passionate about and I want them to be transformed through His word!  That is what Jesus wants.  That is what I want.  I want that for my own life.  I want that for your life!

Psalm 71:5 says this, “For you have been my hope, O sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth.”

It’s not about just hoping for confidence, its about knowing we already have confidence.  In this verse, confidence is a noun!  God is our confidence.  He is our certainty.  He is a sure thing, now and forevermore.

There is no fear where there is confidence.  Let me end with Psalm 27: 1-3.  Oh, how I pray this will speak truth into your hearts.  I know I haven’t won the battle with fear today.  But, I am committing to read this verse daily for the next month.  I challenge you to do the same.  And then, inevitably, when God’s truth is spoken into our hearts day after day, it will become our truth.  And only then will fear of my flesh begin to fade away and my confidence in the sovereign God of the universe begin to grow.

Psalm 27: 1-3  “The Lord is my light and my salvation-whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid?  When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.”

We all struggle with fear.  What fears are paralyzing you from moving forward in your life? What dreams would you pursue if you had confidence in the Lord?

“To love reading is to be a lover of words.” –Karen Andreola

I absolutely love to read.  Love, Love, Love to read.  Those who know me, know that I have about 4-5 books going at the same time.  My favorite books are Christian books about life, inspiration, encouragement, truth and God himself, fiction books about the Amish, biographies and classics.   These are a few of the books I am reading currently:  Experiencing God by Richard and Henry Blackaby, A Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan, What’s it like to be Married to Me? by Linda Dillow, and A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens.  I am forever seeking knowledge and love to learn.  Sitting in a comfortable chair or my bed, listening to classical or jazz music, sipping tea and reading a book brings joy and peace to my soul. Ahhh….

Although, I do have a few ibooks, I prefer the old fashioned feel of a real, honest to goodness book in my hands.  I love to flip the pages.  Highlighting, underlining and writing in my books is meaningful to me.  I think it helps me to interpret and really comprehend what I’m reading.

Of course, before I had children, I found much more time to enjoy the comforts of a book.  The last 2 1/2 years of raising children has changed the quantity of my reading.  At first, I was a little embittered because “I didn’t have time to read anymore”.  I love having children dearly and feel that being a mama is one of best things God has given me.  But if I’m completely honest, there have been times when my perception was that they were preventing me from enjoying and pursuing past passions.  And that, for a time, I would have to lay my desires aside and pursue their best interests and needs.  Which, to some degree, is a reality.

But, as I’m growing, learning and finding myself again-in the midst of mothering-I’m realizing that my passion for reading is important.  In this culture of “stuff” and “more”, I found myself on the treadmill of buying and acquiring for my children “more and more” toys and things.  I was so focused on making sure they were attended to and happy and had different toys to stimulate them, that I forgot how important a love a reading really is.  Don’t get me wrong.  I have ALWAYS read to my kids.  But I was missing the vital part of instilling a love of reading into my children.

So, I’m refocusing on what is necessary.  Nurturing and growing a passionate love of reading is one of the most important goals I have for my children.  I want them to be enthusiastic, life-long learners.   How do I help them develop a love of reading today so that they will remain passionate about reading for their future?

Here are 10 important ways to instill a love of reading in YOUR children.

1. Read to them.  This is obvious.  If you want your children to love to read, they must be read to at a young age.  Reading aloud to them accustoms them to words.  As a mother of young children, I’m constantly busy doing many things.  This is where intentionality is crucial.  Make reading to your little ones a priority.  We have made it a habit to read first thing in the morning, snuggled up on the couch with their milk and blankets, before ANYTHING else.  They look forward to this every day, even Cruz has started asking for a book after he wakes up. We also read every night before bed and at least 1-2 other times during the day.  I bought the Before Five In a Row reading companion for preschoolers which helps give some extra thought and ideas to the traditional books it recommends.  I love this reading companion and highly recommend it.  There is a Five in a Row reading companion for kindergarten age children as well.  In addition to our scheduled reading times, we try to read a bible story every morning as well.  As beautiful as this all sounds, know that we are flexible!  The morning and evening reading times are set, but reading times during the day can vary.  This isn’t pass or fail.  Just read to them, as much as possible!

2. Have books readily available to them.  If you want them to love to read, let them have access to books!  Place them within their reach and in their play area.  They can’t learn what they don’t know.  We have 2 baskets of books in the living room for them to rummage through as well as a large basket of books in each of their rooms.  Do not worry about making them all neat and tidy and stacked alphabetically.  For toddlers and preschoolers, I’ve found baskets much more  user friendly to a young one’s curiosity.

3. Make reading a priority to your kids.  Children learn what is important in life from us.  I decided that when my children come to me and ask me to read a book or want me to see something in a book they are looking at, I will stop what I’m doing (as much as possible) and pay attention.  If I have time, I will sit right there on the floor and read the book to them.  But if I’m in the middle of cooking dinner, for example, I will at least smile, look them in the eye and affirm the interest they have or make a positive comment about something in the book.  They learn “Hey, I get mom’s attention when I bring her books.  Books must be important.”

4. Let your children see you reading.  Much of character and knowledge is caught rather than taught.  Let them “catch” you reading.  Children will imitate you and your behavior.  If we want our children to use good manners, we must use good manners.  If we want our children to speak respectfully to adults, make sure you are speaking respectfully to your husband and family and friends.  If you want to instill a love of reading in your children, let them see YOU reading.  I find that when I pause to read a book I enjoy, it also helps me to stop, be still and rest as well,  which makes for a much happier, calmer mama in the end.  A great time for me to read in front of my children is in the afternoon while they are playing either outside or in the living room.

5. Establish times of quiet reading  for them.  When they are preschoolers and toddlers, it is necessary that we read to them.  However, even at a young age they can begin to “read” to themselves.  For my two and three year olds, instead of “nap time” we have “rest time”, which means they have to stay on their beds and well, rest.  They are allowed to bring books into their bed to “read”.  This isn’t play time,  and although my 2 year old still likes to challenge this a bit, my 3 year old loves reading and listening to music for his rest time.  And when they take a nap, its a bonus! As an extra dose of culture, I will occasionally play classical music for them in their rooms.

6. Get excited about books and reading.   Make reading books an adventure for your little one!  They will feed off of your emotions.  When we are sad, they feel it.  When we are happy, they are happy too.  When we get excited, they sense our excitement!  Get the picture?  I don’t make them read.  Instead I ask, “Who wants to read?  Who wants to go on an adventure?”  Of course they jump up and down and say “me!”  Sometimes we’ll read in different rooms to change it up a bit.  I always make it a BIG deal when we get a new book.  Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library program is an awesome way to build up your own library.  They get one new book each month until they turn five!  We have 4 1/2 more years left….that is A LOT of books!  And in my opinion, they are high quality books.  Another way to get kids excited is to let them pick out the books they want to read.  Remember also, it’s not necessarily about reading every book word for word.  Vary your time with books by just looking at the pictures, and if the kids want to just flip the pages and jump around, let them!! Exploring a book is great for their curiosity! So, make books a big deal!

7. Teach them to respect books.  I have emphasized from early on that we take very special care of our books.  Ripping pages out of, writing on, stepping on, or throwing books are not acceptable behaviors. They are learning that books are important.  Children will values what they learn is important and worthy of respect.

8. Read different types of books.  As my children are getting into the preschool years I have begun to add poems, nursery rhymes, fables, and longer stories such as Beatrix Potter’s Complete Tales.  Picture books are still our primary reading choice for my one year old, but he’s learning to sit as I read longer books to the other ones. Remember to get some new books once in awhile to keep their interest and curiosity. Libraries will have sales often, and I just purchased 45 children’s book at our Friends of the Library Sale for $12.  Now you can’t beat those prices!  Instead of toys for holidays and birthdays, ask for books.  SimplyCharlotteMason.com has a super list of highly recommended books for all your children’s ages.

9. Act out the stories in the books.  I think this is super fun!  A fabulous way to help them build their imaginations!  Currently, one of our favorites is We’re Going On A Bear Hunt by Michael Rosen (One of the books in Before Five In A Row by Jane Claire Lambert).  This is also just a way to have FUN with your children and laugh and smile, which will absolutely benefit everyone!

10. Engage them in a conversation about their books.  Ask them questions about the scenes, the characters, the story.  What are the characters feeling?  What are they doing?  Ask them about the pictures, the colors, the animals.  Recall their memory to a book at a different time when you aren’t reading together.  You will be amazed at how quickly they can recall a story from a book.  Certainly, at a young age, they will not be able to tell you the entire story, but  I am impressed how even Gavin at age 3 remembers different characters and  how they were feeling.  In her book Charlotte Mason Companion: Personal Reflections on The Gentle Art of Learning, Karen Andreola shares what she has learned about Charlotte’s philosophy of education.  Charlotte Mason founded her “House of Education” in England in 1892.  She had a heart for learning, particularly in home education.  But whether or not you are formerly homeschooling your children, I firmly believe the home is the primary place for learning, especially for young children.  And I absolutely love her theory on narration.  “She believes in the “art of telling” and that narration (retelling what has just been read) is the best and most natural way for a young child to organize and demonstrate the knowledge he gains from books.  She observed that what the child digs for himself becomes his own possession.  Narration develops the power of self expression and forces the child to use his own mind and form his own judgment.”

You may ask, “Aren’t your children only 1, 2, &3?”  Why, yes they are.  However,  NOW is the time to get them acquainted with books and with reading so that as they mature to grade school level, their love of reading will have been planted, nurtured and thriving.

Reading is important.  Are you making this a priority?  Share how you are instilling a love of reading in your children.

Well, February is behind me already.  How did I do with my meal planning?  Well, I did it.  Was it perfect?  No.  Did I turn myself into a gourmet cook?  Hardly.  But I accomplished what I set out to do.  So, today being Monday, is still meal planning day.  Which I will do this afternoon for 30minutes.  Perfect amount of time for a show to keep the kids busy!

Am I still making my bed, you ask?  Yes!  And still doing great with that.  

Onward to March!

This month it’s my goal to drink 64 oz of water daily.  Ok, I’ve tried this in the past and it is going harder than you think.  Sixty-four ounces of water daily is a lot of water.  Even though I realize that is what is necessary to rehydrate myself, it is still challenging.

So, if you are needing some reasons to drink more water everyday, here they are.

5 reasons to drink water

1.  Keeps your hair and skin healthier.  And who doesn’t want shiny hair and skin?!

2.  Essential for your body’s overall function.  We are made up of over 70% water.  Your body’s cells need it to function properly.  And don’t forget it’s importance for flushing our kidneys and digestive systems!

3. Decreases your appetite.  When you consume 8 ounces of water prior to a meal, it decreases your hunger and thus will decrease your caloric intake, helping you to lose or maintain your weight.

4. Flushes out toxins.  This can decrease the risk of kidney stones and bladder infections.

5. Decreases muscle cramps.  Proper hydration will keep your muscles more elastic and less likely to strain.

6. Save money!  It’s FREE.  Even if you are drinking bottled water, it’s still cheaper than buying caffeinated or sugar beverages such as soda, juice or tea.

There you have it.  No more excuses.

One more piece of advice.  Use a 16 oz or 32 oz water cup, that will make it much easier to gauge how much you are drinking.

Are you up for the challenge? Can YOU drink 64 ounces of water daily?

Let me know how successful you have been so far in creating your own 12 month health plan so far!

Yesterday was my husband and I’s 6th anniversary.  And as much as I wanted to post on this yesterday, I just didn’t have time to do it.  I had been speaking at a friend’s church at a Single Moms Retreat, which was a wonderful event with many endearing, sweet women.  It was a pleasure to be a part of something so special.  And then when I got home last evening, my daughter was ill.  So, no blogging time for this mama.

But I just wanted to say it’s been a crazy, wonderful, exciting, beautiful, roller-coaster ride the last 6 years with my husband.  We’ve had many ups and downs, trials and celebrations.  I can hardly believe it has been this long and yet it seems like it just flew by.  So much has changed in six years.  I’m so thankful for how God has developed and grown our family and how we are still going strong and looking forward to many more wonderful years together.  So, I wanted to take this time to post 10 reasons why I’m thankful for my husband.  Yes, of course, there is SOOOO much more, but I thought I’d start with 10.

10 REASONS WHY I’M THANKFUL FOR  MY HUSBAND

1.  He seeks to follow Jesus in all aspects of his life.

2.  He is a devoted family man.

3.  He is a super, awesome daddy and loves spending time with our children.

4.  He works hard to provide for our family.

5.  He isn’t afraid to pursue his dreams.

6.  He is always seeking to grow in his relationships, his spiritual life and personally.

7.  He is fun and loves to laugh.

8.  He helps me clean up around the house when needed.

9.  He never hesitates to serve or be generous.

10.He is committed to this marriage and loves me unconditionally.  Even when I may be unlovable.

 

Just want to say “Thank you” babe, for 6 fabulous years!  I look forward to many more years on this adventure of life by your side.  God brought us together for a beautiful purpose and I know he hand picked us for each other.   Which reminds me of a fun story…

When we were courting, I lived in Iowa, he was in Texas, so we sent a lot of letters and cards.  So, once we got married, I wanted to continue the tradition.  So I sent a card to him from our own address of course, but in the return address spot I wrote “Your Best Friend”.  So, he got the mail and brought it in the house. I saw he had the letter in hand.  So, I sat there with a smile, waiting for his response.  But instead of looking lovingly at me when he read “Your Best Friend” in the return address spot, he looked at me puzzled and said, “Why would Brian send me a card?”  Hello?!?! My countenance fell as I sadly corrected him, “I’m your best friend.”  Wah, wah. Although I was a little deflated, he recovered remarkably.  We laughed and added it to our memory bank.  So many great memories.

Honey, you are still my best friend and companion and I can’t imagine life with anyone but you.  I’m grateful for your love and attention.  I know life will only get better as we continue to grow and seek our Lord together.  Thank you for you.

Happy Anniversary!

Love, Your adoring wife

Image courtesy of stockimages/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

My husband recently signed us up for a 5K.  On March 1st, in two weeks.  Now if you’ve read my “About Me” page, you know that I don’t run.  Nor have I ever had the desire to run.  But in 2 weeks I am supposed to run a 5K?  Really?  So, what does someone do who is supposed to run a 5K in 2 weeks?  You guessed it.  I started running.  Well, not exactly a full run, more of a run-walk.  I ran for 1 min, and then walked for 2 minutes for 2 miles.  We all have to start somewhere, right?  Well, I was running by my friends house and she saw my running shoes, my running gear, my stopwatch and said “Are you training for something?”  Yes, I guess I am.

What are YOU training for?

I’m training to run a race.  So, what does it mean to “train” for something?  I looked up the word “train” in the dictionary.  It means to “exercise in order to prepare for an event or competition”.  Check.  That is exactly what I’m doing!  But, that wasn’t all.  To “train” means so much more!

• to create by teaching
• to teach and supervise someone
• to educate for a future role or function
• to develop behavior by instruction and practice
• to cause to grow in a certain way by tying and pruning it

That last definition is my favorite!  Prune means to weed out unwanted or unnecessary things.

Train=to cause to grow in a certain way by weeding out unwanted or unnecessary things

 What are YOU training for? (verse)

We are all training for something. We are all preparing, creating, teaching, educating, developing and growing…for something.  Are we training for godliness, or grumbling?  Are we preparing our hearts for God, or ourselves?  Are we developing greed, anger, laziness or righteousness?

What are YOU training for? What are you preparing for?  How are you developing?  Growing?

At bible study the other day, we were talking about fighter pilots.  We have an air force base in our town and many of the women in our church are pilots wives.  We discussed how they have to train an tremendous amount of  hours for the very unlikely chance we will go to war.  Our military trains for war every single day.  They are preparing their hearts, minds and bodies to automatically react and respond in a certain way.  They are training.  They are preparing for a potential future event.  They are creating our military force, they are being taught to fight and protect, they are being educated about war and every aspect of their roles and responsibilities to work as a team, they are developing a standard behavior by repetitive instruction and practice, and they are growing in knowledge and skill and weeding out the unnecessary elements so they can be the best they can possibly be for their duty and the people they have been called to serve.

Are we training for war?  Whether we realize it or not, there is a war going on around us. A spiritual war against an enemy that is far more dangerous, an impending devastation on humanity that is at constant work to devour and destroy.  One that is growing in power and intensity.

We went to see The Hobbit last night and as with all the Lord of the Rings movies, I was impressed by the spiritual comparisons.  I will spare you the movie summary.  But just as in the movie, there is a spiritual darkness that is enveloping us, closing in on us,  and gaining strength.  And we, as followers of Jesus Christ, have a choice.  We can sit back and ignore the reality of this darkness, or we can unite together, preservere and fight the good fight (2Tim4:7).

My friend could tell I was training for a race by what I was wearing and what I was doing.  Can your friends and acquaintances tell what YOU are training for?  Do they know what we are preparing for?  Can they tell we have been developing our behavior, and our character?  Would they say that we are training for a spiritual battle?

What do we need to do to train ourselves spiritually?  Read God’s word.  “Train yourselves to be Godly.  For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” 1Tim4:7-8.    2 Timothy 3:16 says, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.”  We need to grow to become more like Christ and weed out unwanted and unnecessary things.  John 15:2 says, “He (God) cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.”  God prunes us!  He helps us to identify what is unnecessary in our lives!  I’m so thankful we have a personal pruner and a personal trainer!

How are we preparing to fight?  Ephesians 6:12-13 tells us, “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.  Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so that will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil.  Then after the battle you will still be standing firm.”  We, my dear friends, are either training and preparing for battle, or we aren’t.  There is a battle, a war, already taking place around us.  It’s against a powerful, unseen force that is deceptive and enticing.  If we aren’t grounded and standing firm in the Word of God, we will not be able to resist it.  It is essential that we put on EVERY piece of God’s armor; truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation and God’s spirit.  Read all of Ephesians 6: 10-17.

Paul says it beautifully in 2 Timothy 4:7 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith.”  If I’m going to cross the finish line, I have to start the training,  I have to run the race.  I just started running today.  I didn’t start because I love running, but because I had the end in mind.  My race is before me.  Its already marked out.  I’m already signed up as a participant.  Am I going to run to finish well, or am I going to wait to start running the day of the race?  I could do that but I’d be missing the journey, the experience, the joys and trials of the training.  Training is something that we must look at as a need, as a joy, as a blessing, an opportunity and a privilege.  Our soldiers see their training as an honor and a privilege.  They are a small part of something much bigger than they are, united to fight a battle against an enemy that threatens to destroy their freedom.  How much more so should we see our training in righteousness in the same light.  And how much more is our spiritual enemy out to destroy our freedom that Jesus Christ paid for on the cross.

So, I have a choice, I could have begrudged my husband and said “no I won’t do it”, or “I’ll try but I doubt I’ll be able to do it”, or “I’ll try but its going to be really hard and there is going to be a lot of better runners than me”, or “I will run it to the best of my ability amd with perserverance, I will train and prepare myself for this race.  I will take on the challenge as an honor and privilege.”  In the end, I want to proclaim, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith.”

It is my choice.  It is your choice.  What are YOU training for?

“Image courtesy of Keerati / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.

How can I expect my children to obey when I’m not obeying you, God?

If I am unforgiving, and have a bitter attitude, how can I expect them to forgive and give grace?

Change ME Lord so my children don’t learn fleshly behavior through me!  My life is a living example of who YOU are.

What is my life telling my children?  These precious ones are the biggest ministry I could possibly have.

Help me to see the urgency and importance of seeking God and growing in my own faith.  And faith is something I cultivate.

Faith says, “Do you trust me?”

And humbly, I must learn in every circumstance, in every decision to say, “Yes Lord, I do.  Always.”  

Those are the words my Savior longs to hear me utter.  “I trust you.  I believe you.  I love you.”  There is nothing else.  If I miss this, I’ve missed God. I don’t want to miss experiencing Him in my days.

Lord, open my eyes and ears to see and hear you fresh and new everyday.  May your word penetrate my soul and speak truth to my heart.  Fill me with your goodness.  Empty me of me, so I may have ALL of you.  May I cease striving and start resting in the truth of who you always have been, who you are and who you will always be.  You are freedom.  You are victory.  You are God.  Amen.

Yes you read that right.  I was in a car accident yesterday.

I am completely fine.

My van was the only sufferer of any injuries.  Which is a total bummer .  I had just left our church from attending the IF:Gathering Women’s conference and was so inspired and pumped up from listening to Christine Cain’s message.  I was heading south thinking, “I loved that!  I want to do what she does!”  Right at that moment, I saw a black truck in my left peripheral vision moving toward the road I was traveling on.  It all happened so fast.  And I soon realized this truck wasn’t stopping.  I laid on my horn and swerved slightly to the right and WHAM, he ran into the back left quarter panel of my minivan.  The van swung around and before I knew it I was facing the other direction about 50 yards from the incident.  Whoa.  I was just hit!  Yikes.  The car was still somewhat drivable and I drove the wrong way down Maplewood to pull off to the side of the road.  It was 20 degrees outside, very atypical in Texas. We stood outside, shivering in the cold.  I was very appreciative of the owner of the black truck.  He was very kind and apologetic and admitted he wasn’t paying attention and took full responsibility of the accident.  Neither one of us had passengers.  My babies were safe at home.  It hit right where Gavin normally sits in the back seat.  He would have been hysterical.  I was so thankful I was alone.  We exchanged insurance and personal information.  And after another apology, we got in our vehicles and headed home.  As I drove home, my first thought was, “I shouldn’t have gone to the women’s conference.  If I’d just stayed home this wouldn’t have happened.”  and “Our van is now damaged goods.  What if it won’t drive right after this, as it wasn’t driving like normal on the way home.  Is this going to affect our resell down the road?”  Seriously, these were the thoughts I had initially.

But after I came home, told my hubby the details, hugged my sweet children, called the insurance company and was able to process the situation, God gently reminded me of three things throughout the rest of the night.

What My Car Accident Taught Me

• Be thankful.  Be thankful I wasn’t injured.  Be thankful my children weren’t in the car and were safe at home enjoying life.  Be thankful my car can be fixed.  Be thankful the guy who hit me has insurance and was very nice and apologetic.  Be thankful that I’m alive.  Many others in accidents aren’t as fortunate.
• Don’t store up treasures on earth where moths and rust and instantaneous car accidents can destroy.  All the material things I have; house, vehicle, bed, TV, cell phone, computers, etc are ALL replaceable, or fixable.  Human lives are not.  What am I investing in?  Do I place too much value on the THINGS of this world?  Am I missing out on the most important relationships in my life because I spend too much time managing, buying, fixing, cleaning material things?  “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”  Let my treasure be in my awesome God, my sweet husband and my precious children.
• I am NOT in control.  God is.  I think I have pseudo-control of my life, of my days, of my hours and minutes.  I am disillusioned into believing somehow that I am controlling what happens in this life.  And it took yesterday’s accident to remind me that God is in control.  He can change the direction of my days in a moment.  Am I flexible and willing to bend to God’s will?  Am I seeking His plans for my life?  Am I aligning my life with His kingdom?  Or am I so set in my ways, that I’m missing the calling and direction He is trying to lead me daily?  Am I sitting on the throne in my self focused world, or is God sitting rightly on His throne in my life?

I realized that it wasn’t my fault for going to the women’s conference.  It really wasn’t a matter of “I shouldn’t have left the house.”  Accidents happen.  Quickly.  Without a plan.  The issue was me feeling out of control.  Losing control is scary.  But letting go of control of my life is absolutely necessary.  When life is moving smoothly in a forward direction, God is in control.  When life swerves out of the “normal” path, God is in control.  When life completely changes and I can’t really understand how I got to this place or how I ended up in this direction, God is in control.  God reminded me, “In case you forgot, I have always been and am still in control.”   Thank you God for this necessary reminder.

What is God teaching you right now?

Image courtesy of Naypong / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I desire something more in my life.  I know there is a depth to my faith that I’ve not reached, not even touched upon.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God’s desire and plan for me is to experience Him on a much grander scale.  Our pastor is doing a series called “Kingdom First”.  And over the last 5 weeks I have been inspired to live differently, to live for His kingdom, not my own agenda.  And yet…I find myself becoming frustrated because as much as I desire to change and grow spiritually and become a wholehearted, passionate follower of Jesus Christ, I struggle with what and how that plays out in my day-to-day life of mommy and wife.  I, like so many moms, struggle to find that balance between God, my husband, my children, my family and friends, my ministry and my own personal dreams.  I can visualize what I dream of my life to look like but the realities of every day seem to keep me from becoming who I desire to be.

My word for 2014 is “INTENTIONAL”.  I am sincerely working on being intentional with my days, my family and my life.  But fleshing this out in reality can be challenging to say the least.  I need and want to be intentional with EVERYTHING in my life.  But realistically, I can’t make every single thing in my life line up perfectly.  I feel as though I have this constant, ongoing video in my head that shows me who and what I want to be and it reminds me just as often, I’m not measuring up.

Where do I start?  Being intentional is my goal.  But deciding on what to be intentional with first.  That is where I’m struggling.

I have three children ages 1,2 &3.  So you can imagine my days are consumed with feeding, bathing, toys, crying, and snuggling.  I am so fortunate to be able to stay at home with them.  But I’ll tell you the last 2 1/2 years have been busy, draining and challenging.  And I’m very sad to say, my faith journey and spiritual vigor had all but faded away…until about 6 months ago.  I started feeling God nudging me, drawing me back to Himself.  I used to adore sitting and reading my bible …for hours, before children of course!  I am a huge reader to begin with and I love to journal, especially what I know God is teaching me.  But when I needed him the most, with 3 small children, I just couldn’t find the time to be with God.  And honestly, there were times, when I just didn’t care.

My children’s January verse was Joshua 1:9 ” I will be with you everywhere.”.  And I am so very thankful.  That even when I wasn’t working on my relationship with God, even when I didn’t pray or read my Bible, He was there.  Every day.  All the time.  Waiting and drawing me to Himself.  He didn’t get mad or angry with me.  He certainly didn’t turn away from me or lose interest.  No.  He waited for me.  Right beside me.  Never leaving my side.  Always gently leading me and guiding me.

I’ve been angry, exhausted, frustrated and discouraged.  He has been loving, forgiving, kind, and patient.  As I write this, I am deeply moved by how amazing my God is.  When I didn’t care, He always has.  I don’t deserve the lovingkindess, mercy and grace God bestows upon me daily.  In human relationships, when someone walks away and doesn’t invest in the relationship or doesn’t have any interest, the relationship many times will dissolve.  Relationships need to be nurtured.  But oh how thankful I am that God never turned away from me.  I imagine Him with a gigantic smile when he saw me starting to open His word again.

So, I come back to where I started.  I’m not where I desire to be, but I want more than anything to be a passionate, wholehearted follower of Jesus Christ.  I love the Lord.  I have received God’s gift of grace and mercy through his Holy Spirit.  But I want more.  I want to live for God’s kingdom, not for this world.  So, what does this look like?  How do I do this?

The answer came to me clearly through God’s word this morning.  I keep “trying” to change, to live differently.  The reality is that I CAN’T change.  But the Holy Spirit in me can transform this every day mama into a sold out, on fire woman of God that lives in the freedom that my Savior paid the price for.  God just asks of me this…

Psalm 37:3-7

“Trust in the Lord and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.  Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him , and He will do it.  He will bring forth your righteousness as the light And your judgment as the noonday.  Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way. “

I will paraphrase what I feel God was speaking to me through His Word:

Alissa, first and foremost trust Me, be content where you are at and foster the growth of your faithfulness.  Faithfulness has to grow.  It doesn’t just happen all at once.  It’s something you must cultivate.  Your source of happiness is Me.  Find your pleasure in Me first.  Not in your things, not even in your children or your husband.  They cannot give you the desires of your heart.  I will give those to you…joy, patience, peace, passion, gentleness, love and contentedness, romance and intimacy.  Commit your plans to me.  Commit your plans for your marriage, your children, your home, for blogging, speaking, homeschooling your children.  All of it.  Trust Me and I will do it.  Not you.  I will make the way for you.  Trust me, not yourself.  I am the source of your righteousness.  Then, Alissa, rest in Me.  Breathe.  Do not be anxious.  Do not take your desires and plans back from me.  Rest in knowing I can handle what you have given me.  And wait.  My timing is not your timing.  Do not try to forge a way ahead of me.  Be patient.  And when you see others pursuing and attaining your dreams and desires, do not compare yourself.  Do not fret.  Do not worry.  Go back and read my Word again…”Trust in the Lord and do good, Cultivate faithfulness, Delight yourself in the Lord, Commit your way to Him, Trust in Him, Rest in Him and Do not fret.”  Remind yourself of this over and over. These are not just encouraging words, but commands to obey.

Oh, Lord, this is the desire of my heart.  I will trust you and delight in you–first, above everyone and everything.  Nothing I have compares to you.  I surrender everything I have to you. It is yours.  I commit my plans to you for my marriage, my children, homeschooling, blogging, ministry opportunities, and my entire life.  I want your will.  I desire you alone. I trust you and know that what you plan to do, you will do it.  I will rest in knowing you are God, and your ways are not my ways, nor your timing, my timing.  I pray against anxiety associated with comparison, as I’m prone to do.  Lord, I will delight myself in You, so that I shall become passionate and wholehearted servant in your kingdom. Amen.

What would it look like for you to delight yourself in the Lord?

Image courtesy of Aleska D / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Starting January 1, 2014 I started my 12 Steps to an Intentional Life.  January was Step 1: Why I’m Making My Bed.  On the heels of January…I must say with confidence that I made my bed each and every single day!! Woo, hoo!!  Making my bed was about so much more than just making my bed.  It was about succeeding in following through with something that has always been marked as a FAIL in my list of accomplishments.  It was about believing that I could do it and most importantly experiencing the satisfaction of having followed through.  So…onward to February!

This month I’m tackling something that has always been a source of frustration to me…MEAL PLANNING.  Ugh.  Just writing it, makes me turn my nose up.  I have tried to do this over and over and over.  All of my efforts have always been short lived and I once again fall back into the pattern of my old ways of scrambling to think of something to eat every night, failing to have the correct ingredients and feeling like a failure due to my lack of follow through.

So…I’m making a goal of planning my meals once every week, creating my grocery list and actually following through with going to the grocery store.  I’m tired of not having a plan.  For me, not having a plan breeds anxiety and discouragement.  Which in turn leads me to feeling like a failure and wanting to give up.  Ok, so I’m not really going to quit cooking altogether for my family.  But, I really struggle with fear of failure.  Oh, what life would be like without fear.  I am praying for the Lord to help me with this.  How many times does the Bible say, “Fear not.”  If I’m honest with myself, most of my fears are related to comparing myself with others and feeling like I’m just not “good enough”.  I just have never really enjoyed the kitchen.  Ironic though, I spend most of my day in it. My kitchen and I have a love/hate relationship.  I love it when it is clean and there is a good meal cooking.  But I hate cleaning or cooking in it.  Go figure.  I need to believe Phil 4:13 “I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.”   Even succeed in the kitchen!

So, here’s my “meal planning” plan…

Monday

Plan meals for following week- 30-45min

Tuesday

Grocery shopping

My goals…

         1. Decrease my anxiety and discouragement with preparing meals.

        2. Prepare nutritious snacks and meals for my family.

        3. Decrease my grocery bills.

       4. Start mealtime prep at 4:00pm every day.

       5. Make only 1 new meal every week to lessen my stress. 

Ok, so there you have it.  I have ONE SMALL task to follow through on this month.  But, ONE GIANT step for my self confidence and for my pursuit of intentional living.  I can’t wait to give the follow up post at the end of this month.  Accountability sure does encourage motivation.

Please share your meal planning tips and ideas.