Have you ever had one of THOSE days?
You know what I mean….where you could describe your day in one word–frazzled.
Well, that has been my day today.
Attention seeking 3 year old son.
Two year old drama queen.
No makeup. Hair up. Yoga pants on.
No time to brush my teeth.
On mission to clean entire house.
Laundry done. Well, most of it.
Dog peed on rug.
Weapon of choice for the day…vacuum.
Vacuumed every single room.
Kids have watched PBS all day.
Feeling like a complete failure as a mom.
But at least my carpets are vacuumed.
Meant to fix myself up before my husband got home.
3 year old refuses to eat anything for dinner. Ever. Except fruit.
Discussing with my hubby how my son’s picky eating habits stresses me out every night.
19 month old chokes on a black olive. I rescue him while simultaneously tipping over the chair with him strapped into it.
He pukes all over me. But he’s breathing.
Mommy’s night out.
Spray some perfume on the puke spot on my sweater.
No eye makeup.
Add some earrings. Good enough.
Head out the door.
“Be good for daddy. Otherwise he won’t let mommy leave again! “
Thank my sweet husband for letting me meet some friends for a movie: “Mom’s Night Out”.
Am once again reminded that being a mommy is hard work. It is time consuming. Thankless. Stressful. Overwhelming. But oh, so important.
And the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.
There are many days I feel like I’m failing as a mom. Many moments I think,” Who am I? And what am I doing?”
But God gave me these children. He entrusted them to me. And he promised “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Do you know what it means to forsake? To leave someone who needs or counts on you.
God promised that he he would NEVER leave us. He will NEVER leave someone who needs and counts on Him. I have never thought about that before. I NEED Him! I COUNT on Him! Always. Everyday. All the time. And He will NEVER leave me. And He already knew that. He knew I’d screw up. He knew I was a mess. He knew that I would have days like this when I walked out of the house feeling like a failure. When I feel the mommy-guilt that says “You just aren’t good enough. You could have done it better. You should have done it better. You failed.” Ugh. But ya know what? God isn’t asking me to do it perfectly. Where did I come up with that? He’s asking me to do it with grace. He’s asking me to do it with Him. He never asked me to run this race by myself.
Do I live like I NEED Him? Like I COUNT on Him?
Do I really depend on Him for my strength? My support? My purpose? My value?
Or am I trying to depend on myself. Am I trying to be someone who doesn’t exist? Someone I’ve created in my mind that looks like who I think I’m supposed to be?
The movie said it so well tonight. “Just be YOU.”
Is being “me” enough?
An overwhelming YES!
That is all God is asking me to be! He isn’t asking me to be like the million other moms on Pinterest who seem to have it together. They don’t. And neither do I.
I need to learn to be content with being me. Being the mama to MY kids.
God’s purpose for us is very clear: To Love the Lord God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Matt 22:37-39
A neighbor is someone who lives near you. My closest neighbors? My husband and children.
Love Me. Love them. Love yourself.
This is God’s commandment to me.
Yep. I don’t have it all together. I will continue to have these days.
But I LOVE these days. And I wouldn’t change them for the world.
Lord, I need you. I count on you to help get me through every. single. day. Give me your strength. Your love. To be the very best mama I can possibly be. Help me to be “me”. That is it. Help me to stop there. This isn’t pass or fail. It’s called life. It’s called love. It’s called family. Amen.
For more encouragement on learning to not be so hard on yourself, and to ‘Love the Mommy You Are’, please check out my friend’s awesome blog Mommy Sabbatical and her recent post What You Really Need to Hear on Mother’s Day. You will be blessed!