What is YOUR passion?
What is it that ignites your soul? Brings you to your happy place? Calms your senses?
We all have something that is calling to us….inviting us to accomplish, pursue, grab ahold of. If you haven’t figured out what it is yet, that’s ok! But God has given each of us a talent, a gift, a “bent” towards something. That helps define and create the person He intended us to become. Something that will bring glory and honor to Him.
My passion…is reading and writing.
Honestly, both are things I’ve always enjoyed. I will usually have about 4-5 books going at the same time alongside my regular Bible reading. I absolutely adore sitting with a book, some coffee, or a very occasional glass of red wine. I would say I mostly read Christian nonfiction, but currently I’m reading The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne.
With 3 children keeping me pretty busy during the day, my time to read is at bedtime after everyone is settled in and the house is quiet. To my fault, I can stay up way past my bedtime just absorbing information and knowledge. Ah…
So, where did the writing come in? Well, it’s been there all along, but it’s only been in the last few years that I’ve listened to God’s nudge to begin letting others read what is on my heart. Since a very small girl, I’ve kept a journal.
Yes, you can imagine some of those early entries in elementary school …the dreams and aspirations of a child. There are precious memories that go along with all those many journals stuffed away in a box in the store room.
Memories are one of our most treasured gifts. Through my journal writing and taking photos, this has been my way of recording these cherished moments in my life. So naturally, I have discovered blogging to be an amazing way to record my life, my memories, the moments that truly matter and to communicate to others how God is transforming my life!
When I first found Christ, 13 years ago, the Lord ignited a small spark in my heart to write a book. Of course…someday. Maybe when I was older, had experienced more, had more to write, and had much more wisdom. I had no idea that small spark would continue to grow and burn deep within my soul.
And here I am. Thirteen years later, and that spark is now a flame. Burning. Waiting to get out. I believe God has created me with a voice to share His heart through my writing. And yet, it is fear that has kept me quiet. Kept me from pursuing this dream, this passion, this nudge from God.
Instead I have chosen to believe the lies.
“Who am I?”
“I really don’t know how to write.”
“Who would read it?”
“What makes what I say important?”
“There are way better writers out there.”
I spent almost a year pursuing this dream. Going to conferences, reading, starting a blog, networking with other writers/bloggers.
In July 2014 I went to the Proverbs 31 She Speaks Conference in North Carolina. What an amazing conference and a wealth of information and encouragement! And yet, after coming home from there and meeting a plethora of other like-minded women and speakers and writers, rather than jumping head first into this dream, I became paralyzed with fear. That question of “who am I?” has caused me to runaway from my dream, just like Job did from Ninevah.
Fear turns you away from the direction God is calling you.
Fear kills a dream.
But God is the God of resurrection. Of bringing back to life that which has died. I felt like everything I was pursuing was maybe not worth it. That maybe I had heard God wrong. Maybe I wasn’t meant to write.
But God, in his great love, has reminded me that I am His. He has called me to use my voice. For His glory. When I am weak, He is strong. What He has began, He will bring to completion.
Well, although I still struggle with fear, especially that “of not being enough”, through Christ, I’m gaining the courage to try. Courage to embark on a journey God began in my heart many years ago. Courage to fulfill a dream that has been pushed aside. Courage to believe in myself. Courage to trust God and His plans for me and for my life.
I still play the “what if” game. But I’m learning to play it out God’s way.
What if no one reads what I have to say?
But, what if they do?
What if I never write a book?
But, what if I do?
What if pursuing my writing/blogging has nothing to do with anyone but God and my relationship with Him and my obedience and my trusting in who He is?
What if the courage it takes for me to begin writing, to pursue my passion is imperative to teach my children to pursue their own?
What if having courage and faith in the face of fear, is exactly what God is calling me out from? A life of freedom from fear. Free from things, from expectations, from the world!
Freedom to live an abundant life!
Pursuing writing is not as much about the writing as it is about pursuing the deep well of passion the Lord has placed in the depths of my heart. It’s about being obedient to the call of God on my life. It’s about saying YES to God…going to Ninevah, even though I’m afraid.
All of this….all of life is truly about God.
Pursuing a God who loves us abundantly and whose love will cast out ALL fear.
And who loves us enough to never give up on us, never let go of us and draw us to a deeper, richer, more meaningful life.
So, this is my heart. I have been afraid for too long. Fearful of the ‘what if’s’.
Today, I will write. To God. From my heart. Giving all glory and honor to the Creator himself for the memories he has created and will continue to create in my life. For the passion he’s given me in my heart.
To help push through my fears, I have challenged myself to this:
START WRITING–without worry of a picture, a photo, without judgment of myself, comparison to other bloggers or worrying about who will read my blog.
Pursuing the call of Christ has never been about me. It’s all about Him.
Here goes everything…!!!
What is YOUR passion? What is keeping you from pursuing the call God has given to you? What challenge do you need to give yourself to be obedient to this?