Matthew 9: 20-22 “Just then a woman, who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. She said to herself, “If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.” Jesus turned and saw her, “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment.
Being healed from sickness – miraculously, no less – is a big claim. But I am living proof, Jesus still performs miracles today!
On January 13, 2021, I was diagnosed with poorly differentiated metastatic adenocarcinoma. At the time of my diagnosis, they were unsure of the source of my cancer. Through further testing, it was determined to be Stage 4 ovarian cancer. Thus began the fight for my life.
And a fight it was. A battle for my health, my mind, and my body. This vision of being taken captive against your will and thrown in a dark, desolate prison pretty much summed up the state I was in.
I was embarking on a journey into the unknown, into a land which I did not understand, nor care to be a part of.
And I was alone.
No…not in the physical sense. I had a plethora of family and friends and supporters near and far that were with me, waging war with prayers and encouragement, but here I was dumped straight in the middle of an island surrounded by sharks with not a clue how to survive.
Prison. Darkness. Sharks. Isolation. Certainly, not a vision of hope. But more of depression, isolation, fear and death.
Death. Wow. Never saw that coming. How had my life, suddenly, without warning, turned into a saga of spiraling death?
But in the midst of this disaster, this disease, came hope. Came help.
Psalm 121:1-2 “I lift up my eyes to the mountains – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”
Jesus, my Deliverer, my hope and refuge was there. As he has always been, just more so ever present in my time of need.
In Him, I found my life as I began to lose it. I found life abundantly through surrender, giving up, letting go of control of all I had imagined or dreamed or planned.
Phil 1:21 “For to me, to live is Christ, to die is gain.“
But did I come to this realization in an instant or even overnight?
Not at all. The Lord has led me on a journey of surrender. Was there this instantaneous feeling of laying down my life? Yes. I was sitting in my living room in the chair that now has become my holy, sacred place where Jesus and I meet every day. I was staring at our fireplace and I realized that everything I had wanted to become, everything I had wanted to do in my life…..was for naught. Jesus had other plans. I either had to surrender to His will in my life, or go on struggling.
I gave it up. I surrendered.
It was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. To be willing to release all my desires to the Lord and venture into the unknown. That took 2 weeks of hell to be able to do. I was losing control quickly as I ventured to doctor’s visit after doctor’s visit and was forced to endure more physical pain and mental and emotional suffering than I could have ever dreamed.
Here I was. Ready to surrender my life to the One who held it in his loving arms. But please don’t misunderstand this an an easy laying down of my life. It has been a season of tears and struggle. Joys and triumphs.
And here I am today. Alive. Healed of my cancer!! My PET scan on June 16, 2021 showed NO CANCER in my body!
A miraculous healing…brought together by God. Romans 8:28 says God works all things together for His good.
Please know, that my PET scan in January showed extensive lymph node involvement throughout my body with a CA125 level of >2700 (normal <35). This was an unsurmountable hill to climb from my own weak perspective 5 months ago.
But through my faith, an integrative approach to cancer and traditional chemo, I am healed. And if me saying my healing isn’t miraculous enough, hear the words of my oncologist. After seeing my PET scan report last week, he repetitively referred to my “case” as unique. I asked him further what he meant by this and his response, “Alissa, when I saw your scans and your numbers (CA125), I would never have predicted your cancer would have gone away. My best hope for you was that your cancer would stay the same or improve slightly.” That , I boldly informed my doctor, is the power of Jesus!
My journey began in Psalm 30:1 “I will exalt you, Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me. You, Lord, brought me up from the realm of the dead; you spared me from going down to the pit…To you Lord, I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy: “What is gained if I am silenced, if I go down to the pit? Will the dust praise you? Will it proclaim your faithfulness? Hear, Lord and be merciful to me; Lord, be my help. You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.”
I claimed from the beginning that God would heal me and there was no benefit to my death! How could I praise Him from the grave!? No Lord, let me tell of all your wondrous works, let me Praise your name to the end of the earth! I promised God, with His healing, I would be His. His vessel to share the good news of the kingdom of God! To tell of Jesus’ miracle and His saving power. To be His voice in a world so far away from His truth.
And here I am.
Psalm 107 “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story – those he redeemed from the hand of the foe….Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them, he rescued them from the grave. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind. Let then sacrifice thank offerings and tell of his works with songs of joy.”`
Here I am! Alive! Healed! Telling of His works with shouts of joy!!
On the night before my biopsy, the Lord gave me Matt 9 to cling to. That if I just reached out to Jesus and touched his cloak, my faith would heal me. Three other women had that same verse given to them about me during that initial week of my diagnosis.
On the morning after my good news of the clear PET scan, I was sitting in my holy place (my comfy, oversized chair) saying good-bye to my husband as he left for work. I opened the bible without looking down, and as he left, I closed my eyes and prayed (as I do most mornings) and asked the Lord what HE wanted me to read in his word that day. As I opened my eyes and stared down, my bible was opened to Matt 9.
“Jesus turned and saw her, “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.”
Tears, praises, joy above all joys!
Jesus has seen me and this pain! This suffering has been for Him! Later on that day, I was overwhelmed with the humbling thought of why Jesus had chosen me to suffer for him? Who was I? Why was I chosen to be healed?
And then, I was overwhelmed with the desire to go! To tell of all his wondrous works. To be his vessel of love and compassion and healing to a depraved generation!
In Luke, after this same story of the bleeding woman healed of her disease, Jesus sends out his disciples. He CALLS them and He gave them power, and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick.
Their response….”So they set out and went from village to village, proclaiming the good news and healing people everywhere.”
What is my response to a miraculous healing?
I will set out…proclaiming the good news and helping people to be healed everywhere! There is so much healing to be done in our world…emotionally, physically.
Gal 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
I have a new mission in life. To do the will of God, wherever that may lead me. But I am not afraid. I have been given new life, a second chance, a transformed heart and mind that will lead me to the Savior. Paul’s words echo my own expectation and hope…That through my life, may your faith in Jesus abound on account of me! Amen!
Phil 1: 20 “I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. …Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again, your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me.”